How to Successfully Kidnap Strangers

How to Successfully Kidnap Strangers Do not respond to bad reviews If you must respond to bad reviews please do not kidnap the reviewer If you must kidnap the reviewer do not kidnap him in a public area If there are witnesses

  • Title: How to Successfully Kidnap Strangers
  • Author: Max Booth III
  • ISBN: 9781942712039
  • Page: 319
  • Format: Paperback
  • 1 Do not respond to bad reviews.2 If you must respond to bad reviews, please do not kidnap the reviewer.3 If you must kidnap the reviewer, do not kidnap him in a public area.4 If there are witnesses, do not also kidnap them.5 If you also kidnap the witnesses, consider quitting crystal meth.6 If you find yourself surrounded by hostages, purchase extra duct tape 7 Do1 Do not respond to bad reviews.2 If you must respond to bad reviews, please do not kidnap the reviewer.3 If you must kidnap the reviewer, do not kidnap him in a public area.4 If there are witnesses, do not also kidnap them.5 If you also kidnap the witnesses, consider quitting crystal meth.6 If you find yourself surrounded by hostages, purchase extra duct tape 7 Do not let the hostages take their own hostages.8 Invest in better coffee.9 Don t forget dildo crucifixes have than one use.10 And, most importantly do not engage the severed heads in conversation.

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    • [PDF] Download ☆ How to Successfully Kidnap Strangers | by é Max Booth III
      319 Max Booth III
    • thumbnail Title: [PDF] Download ☆ How to Successfully Kidnap Strangers | by é Max Booth III
      Posted by:Max Booth III
      Published :2018-012-27T03:45:39+00:00

    About “Max Booth III”

    1. Max Booth III

      Max Booth III is the author of four novels His mom has read at least one of them He s the Editor in Chief of Perpetual Motion Machine Publishing and an ongoing columnist at Litreactor He works as a hotel night auditor in a small town outside San Antonio, TX Follow him on Twitter GiveMeYourTeeth and visit him at talesfromthebooth.

    630 thoughts on “How to Successfully Kidnap Strangers”

    1. Harlan reviews books. He admits to being an asshole and his favorite books to tear apart are ones published by a small indy company called BILF (Books I'd like to F@ck). BILF is a bunch of assholes since they rejected to see the greatness of Harlan's own venture as an author. Harlan likes to venture out to a local coffee house to do some of his reading. He takes his trusty e-reader than he has stocked full of illegally downloaded books and heads out. Then he has the misfortune of running into on [...]

    2. This was some bizarro, crazy, non PC, obscene, disgusting, bust out laughing while gaging, writing. I have never read anything like it. It is guaranteed to be banned by many religious organizations. Everything was just so wrong, I loved it.The horrors include terrible writers, worse editors, half arsed publishers, drugs, knives, guns, vomit, sex, murder, severed heads, porn, wicked reviewers, violence and one cute Weiner dog.-Not for sensitive readers.I had fun, sick twisted fun with this. I enj [...]

    3. Max Booth III is a writer I've been meaning to read for some time now. Ever since the publication of Toxicity a couple of years ago.The title of his newest novel, How to Successfully Kidnap Strangers, just reached out and grabbed me. When I read the book's description on it's page, it was decided. Here, take my money.The description that made be spend my hard earned money1. Do not respond to bad reviews. 2. If you must respond to bad reviews, please do not kidnap the reviewer. 3. If you must ki [...]

    4. So this was my first foray into Bizarro Fiction - a genre I didn't even know existed. Apparently the literary genre was coined Bizarro Fiction in 2005. says, "Bizarro fiction is a contemporary literary genre, which often uses elements of absurdism, satire, and the grotesque, along with pop-surrealism and genre fiction staples, in order to create subversive, weird, and entertaining works."YeahI'd say this fits the bill.If you spend any amount of time on , you are frequently bombarded with author [...]

    5. A zany dark crime caper full of severed heads, witty dialogue, and lamentations on the state of the indie-lit scene. This should be required reading for everyone who is writing in small press today. This book is about you! How to Successfully Kidnap Strangers is pure entertainment.

    6. I get real nervous when reading about authors kidnapping book reviewers. This is not the first novel on this topic but, for reasons that will be disclosed, it is the best novel about kidnapping book reviewers. But I do know some book reviewers that should be kidnapped. If one is a reviewer, they should always write about the book and, even if the book sucks, they should not take the negative hyperbole to a personal level. Even if the author is a truly creepy creature who writes about disembodied [...]

    7. HOW TO SUCCESSFULLY KIDNAP STRANGERS was both uproarious and ridiculously brutal, just the way efficient satire should always be. It's going to piss a lot of people off though, as not everyone has a sense of humor about themselves. Online writing communities are this relatively new phenomenon that most people still take too seriously for their own sake. None takes themselves more seriously than BILF books though and that's a problem for bitter book reviewer Harlan Anderson. Max Booth III's previ [...]

    8. So, this was interestingI think? I liked itI think? After a night of extreme partying, 5 friends, who happen to co-run a small press, wake up and go on a somewhat unintentional crime spree. From robbery to kidnapping to murder, these guys do it all. There's crucifix dildos, fast food drug wars, and not to mention talking severed heads. But that's what happens when shitty reviewers write shitty reviews, right? This book was equal parts laugh out loud hilarious and disgustingly cringe worthy. It w [...]

    9. I've been wanting to read Max Booth III's work for a long time and had initially planned to read THE MIND IS A RAZORBLADE first. But then I read the premise of this one I'm going to talk about today and knew I had to read it stat. So THE MIND IS A RAZORBLADE will come another day but, over the course of this review, I'm going to tell you why you should read that one, this one, and anything else he's written or might write in the future.Max Booth III is a diverse guy. He wears several different h [...]

    10. Max was gracious enough to give me an advanced reading copy of his latest book in exchange for an honest review, but after reading it I'm not even sure I can be honest. What if I end up kidnapped and shoved in a trunk with a bag full of severed heads? I don't want to be kidnapped because I wrote a bad review. Actually that's the premise of the book and the kidnapping and everything else that happens in Booth's book is a direct result of a sheer panic and indecision. If you're actually using this [...]

    11. This review is from: How to Successfully Kidnap Strangers (Kindle Edition)It's not everyday that you come across a book that features a small press called Bilf (Books I'd like to F##k) crucifixes made of dildos, serial killers and a whole lot more. I had some slight reservations as to whether Booth could keep the laughs coming for the books entirety. Well, I needn't have worried. I'm pretty hard to please when it comes to satire but there were at least two or three occasions in each chapter when [...]

    12. Absolutely perfect in so many ways. Funny as all hella comedy of errors in the BEST way possible. Really, so good ya gotta read it to see how awesome it is!

    13. HOW TO SUCCESSFULLY KIDNAP STRANGERS is an irreverent, hilarious joyride into the bowels of small press hell. I’m not small press published but as someone who mostly self-publishes, I face many of the same problems including douche reviewers like Harlan Anderson (a once rejected, scorned wanna-be author who writes scathing reviews for all of BILF Publishing’s titles). Coincidentally, Harlan lands in the hands of the BILF Publishing crew when Billy—a not-so-talented drug-addicted writer—e [...]

    14. The world of small presses gets a dose of satire done right. Hilarious and candid, with memorable characters and a snowballing shitstorm of terrible events. The book picks up quickly doesn't let up. There was some worry initially that the author would not be able to keep up the level of humor without it seeming forced or overdone, but it was unnecessary. As with the other books I have read from Max Booth III, How To Successfully Kidnap Strangers is witty, smart and well done. It seemed I was gri [...]

    15. Read all my reviews on urlphantomhiveoklikes I knew even before I started reading that it would be a hard job to write a review of it. It is a bizarre novel and seriously, at which point should you judge one?The story takes place around a small publishing company specialized in publishing weird, bizarre novels (not unlike this one). When one of them, who also has a serious drug issue, sees a negative reviewer on the street, something breaks and the reviewer end up in the truck. From there on, it [...]

    16. Absolute madness. A tweaked shows up with a body in the trunk of a car and things go apeshit until the final sentence. I have had the privilege of reading a couple of Max Booth III's books and I can say he definitely one of the most unique voices in fiction. After reading this book, I do not want to "label" or "categorize" his stuff into a specific genre. Just be prepared to have your mind blown. I dug the story, but the main reason I like Max SOOOO much in because I have never read anyone quite [...]

    17. I give this 4 stars because I do not want to be beaten, kidnapped, bound and gagged, and thrown in a closet with a serial killer No seriously, the author gave me what I wanted in the story's ending. I was ticked off through most of this book. The characters are turds. I'm talking down right cruel. The cop was the most likable but his choice of reading material was questionable. I am guessing that Booth was lampooning the pretentiousness and depravity that can occur in a small press company fille [...]

    18. Max Booth III’s compulsively readable new novel, How to Successfully Kidnap Strangers, is an anthem for small, independent book publishers and authors. The novel is well constructed, with a tight plot and solid, unique characters. Its story is warts-and-all depiction of what goes into running a small press, though in this case readers will want to know what goes into the literary sausage. There are twists and turns that no one will see coming, because, really, when an angry, and likely quite i [...]

    19. How to Successfully Kidnap StrangersI bought this book. No one bribed me with a free copy. However, after reading it, I find my fingers shaking over the keyboard. This review could very well end up with me in the trunk of a car.Screw it. I love a good fight.In all fairness, How to Successfully Kidnap Strangers was one hell of a fun time. The author has a gift for creative plot and my lord does he layer on the tension with a sense of humor. The ties to the world of small press and wannabe writers [...]

    20. This darkly funny novel read like a twisted version of A Confederacy of Dunces, albeit with a lot more meth and severed heads involved. And of the Bizarro books I've read (admittedly, not a lot) this had a surprising amount of depth. I genuinely felt that Max had done his homework on the subject matter, especially with the many uses of duct tape described in this book. Of all the crimes committed by the characters in this book, none seemed as heinous as Harlan Anderson's piracy and horrible revi [...]

    21. Max Booth the 3rd is not an author I had encountered before. But the cover was more than a little appealing, as was the fact that it was published by Bizarro Pulp Press, the title of which kinda tells you what type of books to expect. That said I did have one big cause for hesitation when opening this book and that was that it’s about writers. The basic premise is that there’s this small press that publishes the pulpiest, most bizarre fiction imaginable, the kind of stuff that nobody else wi [...]

    22. Either Max Booth is a crazy sonofabitch, or he knows a lot of crazy sonsofbitches, or he's a masterful writer (actually, all three options might be true) because he totally excels at writing crazy ass characters lots of them in a single book. He's also got a very sick/brilliant mind to dream up the ridiculous situations he puts in these "novels" of his. I put novels in quotes here because, in this one at least, I'm pretty sure he's directly relating actual happenings from his life as an indie pu [...]

    23. I received an ARC for this book through the author's picture contest involving duct tape. No meme, quote or image in that stream could come close to matching how funny this book is. All you need to know before reading: nothing is holy and small press books are more hardcore punk than anything. EverLF is the publisher of hilarious shock horror, the bestselling of which is The Cumming of Christ. When their worst-selling author Billy makes the meth-influenced mistake to kidnap BILF's number one cri [...]

    24. Another entertaining book by Max Booth III. HTSKS starts out action packed when Billy, a meth addict, impulsively kidnaps Harlan, a snarky book review blogger, and Lewis, a serial killer. Of course Billy doesn't know Lewis is a serial killer when he takes his hostages back to his friend's apartment that work for indy publisher BILF (yes, Books I'd Like To Fuck) books. The story then crescendos through madness to the very last page. It's bizarre, absurd, and funny as hell. With that being said th [...]

    25. Oh man. I dont really laugh out loud when I read books but this one did the impossible. I went into this blind and I was freaking surprised. It had everything I like in a book- humour,murder and weird shit thrown into the mix. It was a quick read. I loved the way the author has woven everything together. It was flawless. Source-Netgalley

    26. Grotesque. Idiotic. Brutal. Yet, you absolutely have to read it. Hilarious in its craziness.*This book was kindly sent to me via NetGalley by JournalStone*

    27. Da che parte comincio? Allora, prima di tutto ho riso fino alle lacrime alle assurde avventure di questa banda di pazzi furiosi che hanno a che fare con una piccola casa editrice indipendente. Forse perché io faccio l'editor per una casa editrice indipendente. Anche per questo mi tocca sottoscrivere in pieno tutto quello che Eliza dice riguardo agli autori, alla formattazione e al desiderio di uccidere, oh sì, la tremenda sete di sangue che assale l'editor quando si trova davanti un testo mala [...]

    28. A quick, fun, pulpy and highly inappropriate tale of small press publishing, kidnapping, sexually deviant literature and a host of other things. This is bizarro fiction at its finest, absurd but absurdly well written.

    29. A Smart, Witty Book Pretending to Be DumbWe start with vomit and hangovers and the book feels like it's just going to be another vaguely bizarro Bukowski-trying-to-be-funny bit of going-nowhere. Wrong. That may be the author's game on the surface, but this book has some sharp dialogue, clever plotting, and drop dead interesting observations about writing, writers, publishing, small presses, genre cages, and an author's need to be read.On one level this is an antic comedy/crime story about kidnap [...]

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